So often I have to remind myself that all I have to do is be here. To slow down.
"My mind has been outward, searching for food which will never feed it."
This line really hit close for me. Often I am looking for so many things while I do not need any of it, rather hearing water flow, seeing clouds, hearing the local birds and frogs accompany on my walks home in the evening.
Reminding myself to go slow and pay attention seems like the easiest thing. But I suppose that sense is what makes them so possible to neglect. Thankfully there’s so much life to look at whenever we come back to paying attention to it.
Ever tried Zen practice? It’s all laid out in the Alan Watts classic THE WAY OF ZEN. In doing za-zen (love that word) you just sit and let the world do what it wants with your mind, eyes open, ideally accompanied by a beautiful plant. You sit of course on a thick cushion on a planet that’s spinning on its axis, unobtrusively and incomprehensively, at thousands of miles per hour. The core of the self asks for nothing, not even to exist.
"I am tired of my addiction to others’ opinions. I am tired of my desire for validation from people I’m not sure I like. I am tired of wanting proof from others of my own worth."
Constantly looking for answers regarding how to detach from those feelings. I feel differently about it every other day and have a different plan to fix it on a constant, churning loop. Nothing has worked so far and I don't like that.
I feel you. It's a consistent trying new things and going back to the old ones, over and over for me. Maybe there's space for play in it somewhere. I'm appreciating the spaces of freedom that come when I break through the feeling of being trapped–however long that lasts.
So often I have to remind myself that all I have to do is be here. To slow down.
"My mind has been outward, searching for food which will never feed it."
This line really hit close for me. Often I am looking for so many things while I do not need any of it, rather hearing water flow, seeing clouds, hearing the local birds and frogs accompany on my walks home in the evening.
Reminding myself to go slow and pay attention seems like the easiest thing. But I suppose that sense is what makes them so possible to neglect. Thankfully there’s so much life to look at whenever we come back to paying attention to it.
Walking with the sun long enough to scoop clear water from its nobility and drink, and drink.
(Forgive me.)
Ever tried Zen practice? It’s all laid out in the Alan Watts classic THE WAY OF ZEN. In doing za-zen (love that word) you just sit and let the world do what it wants with your mind, eyes open, ideally accompanied by a beautiful plant. You sit of course on a thick cushion on a planet that’s spinning on its axis, unobtrusively and incomprehensively, at thousands of miles per hour. The core of the self asks for nothing, not even to exist.
Awfully nice, Lora. Here’s a quote from I can’t remember where:
“Genius endures suffering that talent knows nothing of.“
I relate so hard to this:
"I am tired of my addiction to others’ opinions. I am tired of my desire for validation from people I’m not sure I like. I am tired of wanting proof from others of my own worth."
Constantly looking for answers regarding how to detach from those feelings. I feel differently about it every other day and have a different plan to fix it on a constant, churning loop. Nothing has worked so far and I don't like that.
I feel you. It's a consistent trying new things and going back to the old ones, over and over for me. Maybe there's space for play in it somewhere. I'm appreciating the spaces of freedom that come when I break through the feeling of being trapped–however long that lasts.
very relatable, and beautiful